Done {FMF Word Prompt}

Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Snapped on 7.09.2018 during Golden Hour
(for a 52Frames Challenge and is a distant runner-up picture)

As I write at this moment, so many thoughts cross my mind.

I thought about a man who is dying from cancer.  He is clinging to life with every ounce of his being. In spite of excruciating pain, in spite of physical torment, he keeps on writing out his thoughts. He is not done with this life.  He refuses to give into death in spite of dying twice (that I know of).  He recently wrote that he’s finished with fearing death and not achieving his hopes and dreams. But, he’s not done with living yet.  He’s beginning to accept his life and circumstances.  He often makes me cry. I’m learning acceptance. Death is but a part of life.  It’s an unknown that is scary for many.  We all have to experience it at one point.

I thought about Jesus on the cross.  He declared “It is Finished” before giving up his life on earth. It is done. It’s final. There’s nothing more to be done.  His mission is complete and boy howdy was it a mission.

I thought about how I would often start talking to God while trying to complete this or that task – just telling Him what’s on my mind and heart.  It would suddenly occur to me I am praying for the desires of my heart.  I’m often stopped in my tracks. What if my desires do not line up with His?  What if I never see them (my desires) come to pass?  I have regrets for not fighting harder in this life.  And, I grieve for certain people gone before me.

So, I will consciously quiet my soul and deliberately utter “Thy will be done”.  Thy will be done is another very powerful phrase.  Sometimes it hurts to say those four words. Not my will, but Thy will.  I accept that I may never know or see the answer(s) until I’ve gone over to the other side.   I accept what is what it is which is never easy for me.

I thought about the times I would lay in bed in pain that seems neverending (happened last night).  I would often reach a point where I wish and pray for my life to be done.  Never mind all my hopes and desires, Take me home Lord!  I cannot deal with this kind of pain.  It is during these times of life, I welcome death.  But, eventually the pain would ease and I fall into an uneasy sleep.  I’d wake up exhausted but in a much better frame of mind.  And, I thank Him for life and for another day in this beautiful world.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,   
And miles to go before I sleep.

~ Robert Frost ~

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Framers Friday (52Frames): Detail

52Frames: Detail

Fully Loaded

I returned to macro photography which is my favorite medium. I thought this was the best picture that met the “details” theme. The bee is on a wild sunflower that sprouts and grows all over our land.

I have to be honest here and admit I’m frustrated.  After looking at some of the photos submitted, I probably should have submitted one of my Bees in Flight pictures.  Oh well, Live and Learn.

Also, I am just not feeling the “community” aspect of 52Frames. With over 700 people participating every week, many people get lost and ignored.  How can we grow and learn if we do not get any personal constructive criticism and encouragement?  Honestly, I feel like I am in high school all over again and I intensely dislike feeling this way.  I’m still going to keep participating because it’s stretching and challenging me.

Note: This challenge is week 27 of the year. To see all the submissions, including mine, go here.  Warning! There are 804 pictures in this album.  A person can only submit one picture for the week. This means 804 people participated this week.  By the way, there are some awesome pictures in that album!

 

Scenes of Garner 2018: Miscellaneous

Onward Ho!

The Dam

Trees in the Frio

The Frio with Old Baldy in Background

Part of the Pavilion

Seriously Twisted
{Note: This would have been for a photography challenge; but, I was too late.}

Snoozing

Floats Galore at the Frio!

Our Campsite

Note: I do not post pictures of family and friends without their permission.  My husband is the only one that is clearly pictured in some of these images.

Bees in Flight

While shooting pictures for the 52Frames: Detail challenge, I captured a few pictures that I thought were noteworthy.   I just had to share them with y’all NOW.

Look at the Size of my Pollen!

Oops! I Dropped Some Pollen.

Vacation {FMF Word Prompt}

Our campsite at Garner State Park back in June

We’ve taken staycations and a few overnight stays the last few years.  Our vacations tend to be camping for one week somewhere early in the summer.  And lately, we’ve gone for at least several days in both November and December to be near family during the holidays.

I’ve been longing for a real vacation lately.  It will be our 25^th wedding anniversary and my 55^th birthday next year.  So, I think this is a good excuse to go somewhere for an extended amount of time. I refuse to fly unless it’s an emergency.  I get extreme anxiety and panic attacks to the point where I am physically sick. So, we are stuck with traveling by land. As a result, it’s been hard trying to come up with places to go/stay.

I’ve desired to go on a road trip the last several years; but, it is unrealistic at this time in our lives.  It would be better to head to a particular spot, park the camper and play tourist and do some sightseeing.  But where on the face of the earth can we go/do? And, with a cat that has high anxiety traveling in a vehicle?  She’s a great camper but does not like traveling.  Due to her anxiety, special needs and allergies, I don’t like leaving her home alone or having her boarded.   She’s happier with us as long as the land is still.

I would love to travel across several states to visit a long-time online friend of mine.  It would take at most two days of traveling to get to where we want to go.  I am not sure we can do this with a cat with high anxiety and special needs. It is just not the right thing to do to her.  So, at this moment, I am focusing on places not too far from home – maybe four or five hours by vehicle. Or, maybe we can do a modified road trip.  We go somewhere, stay for a couple of days, and then move onto another place.

I’m not sure what we will do when 2019 rolls around.  I only know it would be nice to go somewhere for an extended period of time.  I think both of us need a vacation very much.

52Frames: Mirrors

52Frames: Mirror

The Mirror of Her Dreams

This is loose interpretation on a duology, Mordant’s Need, by Stephen R. Donaldson. In these books, mirrors are gateways to other worlds.

I used a painting of a beach in the background which is often a place I long to be. And, instead of using someone as a model, I used my cat, Abby Gail, who I have trained to sit and stay. It was difficult to get her to sit and stay in a particular spot and even more difficult to get her looking/gazing in a certain direction. So, some photoshopping was done to the left of Abby get rid of her reflection in the mirror. I’m not happy about having this done; but, it is what it is when you have a difficult model to work with. All in all, I am pleased with the result.

And yes, I did use a mirror.  Here is a rough picture with her reflection before cropping and photoshopping.

The Mirror of Her Dreams [Second Choice]

This challenge is week 26 of the year. To see all the submissions, including mine, go here.  Warning! There are 705 pictures in this album.  A person can only submit one picture for the week. This means 705 people participated this week.  By the way, there are some awesome pictures in that album!

 

Scenes of Garner 2018: Flowers

Skeleton Plant (Lygodesmia texana)

Unidentified

Scarlet Gaura (Guara coccinea)

Mexican Hat (Ratibida columnifera)

Mexican Mallow (Hermannia texana)

Skullcap (specific identification unknown)

All shot at Garner State Park in Uvalde, Texas on May 29, 2018