Maroon Blanketflower with Lynx Spider
Here is what I wrote:
I went out Tuesday evening for a quick shooting session focusing on skewing the histogram to the left in the camera. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time on this theme as I’m busy prepping for a camping trip. I chose subjects where the setting sun was shining on them while all around was shaded or dark. I was thrilled when I came across this tiny young Lynx spider. I basically reversed what I did last week on Wednesday morning assuming it would do for low-key and submitted it asap. I hope this qualifies as low-key (enough).
All three were shot on March 29, 2023, for the “Get Low” theme.
The first one above is a very close alternative to my submission.
For reasons of my own, I will not be joining the link party. I will soon be going camping and some family will be there. This caused me to reminisce and return to thinking about stuff. I ended up writing my thoughts once again. I’d like to think I’ve come a long way since I first started blogging and writing for therapeutic reasons. I know I still have a way to go.
Note 1: Please excuse me if I do not respond right away to any comments. I’m currently busy with life. I will respond or answer in time. Thanks for your understanding.
Note 2: A reminder, I’m profoundly deaf. For the longest time, I tried hard to fit in or explain myself without being heard. That is the reason why I felt invisible and often still do.
I gave myself 150% to family and so-called friends. No effort was made on their part (except for one or two) to meet me (communication-wise). There were heavy expectations of me being a full participant and understanding everything. I’d often concentrated on one or two in conversation and suddenly became aware of everyone looking at me with no clue what the conversation was about. I used to feel so humiliated and embarrassed.
A few summers ago, while at the river, I became upset with a brother who lost his temper and humiliated me in front of everyone. All I could do was sit there in silent shock. I walked away from them all, desperately crying out to God. I didn’t understand why he behaved the way he did until I realized my deafness was a factor. When I learned he called my name a few times to get my attention1, this was the last straw with this brother of mine2. Of course, I didn’t respond.
On top of everything, no one defended or stood up for me. It broke my heart.
I hurt very much.
It took me years to realize I do not have to pretend to be what I am not. I chucked the burden of understanding everything discussed. I do not have to explain myself when they have no desire to listen (and understand). I’ve abandoned the need to connect with folks who have no desire to do the same (with me).
Audism3 is a fact. I once tried to explain my situation only to be asked about cochlear implants4. Why do they not want to meet me (my need to see their faces to understand)? Why is there a need (desire) to fix me?
The burden no longer lies with me. I owe no one anything. The onus is on them.
- I am profoundly deaf. My aid only helps me 10%. I grew up without having a hearing aid at any body of water. The risk was too great for an expensive gadget. After all this time, my brother forgets this fact?
- Too many incidents happened in a short period which caused the straw to break the camel’s back. The sad thing is I can no longer deal with him after a recent blowup on his part on Facebook after I was honest and stood up for myself.
VAWnet “Audism is an attitude based on pathological thinking that results in a negative stigma toward anyone who does not hear; like racism or sexism, audism judges, labels, and limits individuals on the basis of whether a person hears and speaks (Humphrey & Alcorn, 1995: 85). Audism reflects the medical view of deafness as a disability that must be fixed. It is rooted in the historical belief that deaf people were savages without language, equating language to humanity. Because many Deaf people grew up in hearing families who did not learn to sign, audism may be ingrained. Audists can be either hearing or deaf. This attitude can also be present among Deaf individuals.”
- At that time, I was not qualified for cochlear implants. Nonetheless, cochlear implants are a tool, not a fix. It doesn’t make anyone magically hear (and understand). Kids (and folks) still need years of therapy.
- Some historical facts:
In 1880, the educators of the Deaf (around the world) gathered together for the Milan Conference to discuss which method is the best to teach the Deaf and Hard of Hearing: Oralism or Sign Language. A ban against sign language was then put in place worldwide. This ban was in place for 130 years. It wasn’t until 2010 that Congress recognized the ban, removed it, and formally apologized. This was a mere 13 years ago. There is so much more history, including Alexander Graham Bell’s beliefs and long-lasting repercussions.
Poppy Mallow (Wildflower)
Here is what I wrote:
This is a Poppy Mallow wildflower. They’re growing on the edge of our concrete driveway (which is the background). I prefer “what you see is what you get” regarding nature. However, I’m loving this artsy-fartsy result. I intentionally skewed the histogram to the right within the camera while shooting. I also adjusted the curve a little within “Lightroom” without blowing out the whites or highlights within the flower itself. I know the background might be a tad distracting, but I’m a natural nature girl and honestly, I don’t have time to clean it up. I used my husband’s long lens as I did not know what I might shoot while outdoors. I was hoping for a Kestral on a wire; but, I ended up shooting flowers.
I wrote the following in a hurry as I have much to do today and this week. I am trying not to get anxious or panic about anything and just do one thing at a time. Write it down and prioritize. If it cannot be done today, then migrate the task to tomorrow. I am hoping I can manage not only what I need/want to do, but also my tendency to stress about stuff.
Anyway, here are my random thoughts generated by this word prompt.
My life contains chapters of a book that most likely never will be written here on earth. Who would be interested in reading an old boring story of my life? However, God knows and holds my past, present, and future. Only He knows the complete story. I even don’t know my whole story. There seem to be gaps in my memory. Folks say that is an indication of trauma. But, is it? How do I know if I cannot recall?
Anyway, I feel I have started a new chapter when I became seriously ill in January 2022. It was a new beginning from that day forth. I praise God for the sickness as it changed me and my life.
Daring (Jumping) SpiderOut of 2730+ submissions, my picture caught the eye of the whittling committee as part of the “Top 3” photos they display at the very top of the album each week.
Note: 52Frames is not a competition.
However, it’s nice to be recognized. I was shocked by this bit of news.
Here is what I wrote:
I went out early in the week in misting rain with my ring flash to shoot flowers. I just wasn’t feeling it. I then came across a bee heavily laden with pollen and raindrops “sleeping” on a Wildflower (posted in the comments) and my enthusiasm for macro photography returned. I went out every day despite the heavy clouds and humidity to find and shoot insects (posting a bee fly in comments). I finally landed a shot of this little girl Friday afternoon. She was a tiny little thing amongst the tall wild sunflowers. I love these spiders because they are awesome beneficial hunters. I am glad I went outdoors one final time even though I got bit a half-dozen times by either mosquitos or biting flies on this day. Please note, the flash is an external ring flash, not the camera’s.
Note: The pictures I mentioned will be posted here on my blog at a later date.
I thank God for this and the other shots I obtained during this week’s theme. I prayed every time before going outside. I knew this was it once I opened it up on my laptop. I’m still thrilled with this picture.
This is my second choice for the Food Photography theme.
I love them both equally.
It was a tough decision to make.
Dan my husband) secretly took a picture of me (with his phone) working on this and showed it to me afterward.
Note: I was using a paintbrush.
I had difficulty getting started with this writing exercise. What do I do that is intentional? It isn’t easy for me to form thoughts and answers out of thin air on some days. It occurred to me that I am intentional – I have planned activities.
I choose to tend to my little garden most days. That means going out to water it every other day. The rainy weather has been doing this chore for me of late. However, I had to water the plants as it’s been some time since it have rained. I will need to harvest some herbs and dehydrate them soon. Maybe tomorrow.
I choose to pursue this weekly writing exercise every Monday morning. I have always enjoyed writing for personal reasons. Sharing some of my thoughts has been very beneficial. However, I highly doubt I will write in a professional capacity though I dreamed of this when I was younger.
I chose to shoot for a photography-themed challenge every week. I immensely enjoyed last week’s theme challenge (“details”)1. At first, I was not into the challenge as I felt depressed and discouraged. The weather wasn’t conducive to what I desired to do. But then, I deliberately put my ring flash onto the macro lens and went outdoors. I wasn’t going to let my emotions stop me.
I first shot random wildflowers, but I was not feeling the results. It wasn’t me. I then spied a “sleeping” bee in a flower heavily ladened with water and raindrops. The excitement of shooting macros returned. I ended up going outdoors every day and deliberately hunting for insects. I managed to get a few decent shots.
And now, I am struggling with unenthusiasm with the new photography theme (High Key). Instead of doing nothing, I will review, research, and think about what I could do for the challenge. I hope I come up with an idea and then be intentional about shooting to the best of my ability.
There’s so much more I do daily or weekly. I do some form of bible study or devotional first thing every morning. I also bullet journal every day. I record tasks for the day, some notes, and even some random thoughts. I love this form of journaling as I can deliberately choose things I can do for this day and then migrate other tasks for tomorrow. Every little small thing is a victory, and it’s okay if I cannot get every task jotted down for the day.
- My submission will be posted Friday and my favorite alternates at a later date.
Farm to Table
Here is what I wrote:
I was deeply undecided between two different pictures. (the second one is in the comments). This won because I can visualize sitting at the table dunking bread into the dipping oil. The Basil is homegrown from my garden and dehydrated for long-term storage.
Note: I will post the second image in a Wednesday post in the future.