Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Street Photography


A Stroll Through Downtown/
New Braunfels, Texas

Here is what I wrote:

I was visiting various Christmas markets, craft fairs, bazaars all over the place near where we live. I decided to go to one of my favorite downtown places to get a few street shots. When I looked at the few I took, I was surprised at how well they came out. I must be getting better at doing this shtuff (intentional spelling) even though I am not a huge fan of this theme. I went with this one mostly because of the cute little girl all dressed up for Christmas. It seemed to tell a story too. I am considering this to be a consistency shot.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Rush {Five Minute Friday}

New Braunfels, Texas;   August 17, 2019
during the week of 52Frames’ “night” theme

If you cannot handle randomness within a piece of long journalistic writing, you may want to pass reading on this one.  I confess that I lost track of time while writing. I just hope the reader can understand what I’ve written in spite of the many holes.

divider-clipart-divider_line_medBeing a Mary in a Martha world1 is not easy.

How can I put my full attention on a task, a sermon, etc., and etc. when my mind races to and fro?  It’s a mighty frustrating endeavor fighting against my own mind at times.

I am able to focus on the very things I love to do.  I tend to utterly lose myself.  But, the world considers these things frivolous.

It’s hard to undo years of being told they are not worth pursuing. It’s hard to undo years of conforming to what society placed upon me.  It’s hard doing the things I love knowing how certain people think. It’s hard to be me in the judgmental Martha world.

The world judges you and it hurts so deeply.  The damage is done.  How does a body get past that?

I still battle the old thoughts and opinions placed upon me decades ago. I often find myself lost in mindless things such as watching the TV or surfing the web.  It was extremely bad a few years ago. However, I am doing better and more these days.  I am able to truly enjoy crafts, writing, and photography once again.  The reason is I no longer care what the world thinks of me (or how I do them).

Books are a different story. I used to be such a lover of books.   They’re still a hard thing to read. I can’t shake the ingrained feeling they’re wrong.

You have to understand my story…

The long story short is two people I once loved and respected barged into my room decades ago and told me they were worried about me.  They informed me I was becoming anti-social and completely invalidated me (my reasons).   To get them off my back, I promised I would try. I am a deep person and I honor my word.

Thus, began my efforts to participate and my long slow descent into anger towards the family.  My eyes were slowly opened. I tried so hard and the effort was never made to meet me halfway.

It’s hard to undo years of damage done by a single, yet heavy, charge of being anti-social. I now know I’m simply deaf.  If people wish to engage with me, they can make the effort to do so.  Otherwise, I’d be happy to go off and read a book.  Well, I used to…

I still love books; but, they are piling up around me.  I cannot seem to relax and read with peace these days with the feeling it’s utterly wrong.  I am still able to lose myself in a good book; but, it’s hard to remain there with that uneasy feeling always present.

This was the reality of my world, always worrying about what others thought of me.
This was the reality of my world, none could (or would) not accept me.
This was the reality of my world, a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.

This is the reality of my world, throwing off chains placed upon me by others including myself.

It’s difficult to relax and be me.
It’s difficult to be a Mary in a Martha world.

 

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  1. When I think of Mary and Martha in broader terms (in terms of the world), I think of

Mary as observant, thoughtful, different, deep, slow, etc., and etc.
Martha is busy, indifferent, selfish, demanding, etc., and etc.

Mary marches to the beat of a different drummer while Martha is the majority.

I think and hope you now know what I was thinking when I wrote this sentence.

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Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Abstract


Arise from Phoenix Dreams

Here is what I wrote:

I absolutely love light painting. So, I decided to continue playing and learning with this type of “art”. I wanted it to tell an abstract story of a sort too; thus, I made the light painted man using my husband as a model. I had him move out off the way after I was done outlining him so that other lights I use would shine through the silhouette. This is NOT a composite image. It’s a long exposure taken in one shot. This is my all favorite in spite of the light pollution I had to deal with even during a new moon phase. My mini-group overwhelmingly voted for this one too. So, here is my submission.

Exposure length: 126 secs

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Uncategorized · Writing

Full {Five Minute Friday}

Created during 52Frames’ Abstract week
(November 25 – December 1)
~ a third favorite ~

A few notes about the above picture.  After dealing with light pollution in spite of the new moon phase, I turned my room into a dark room and put up a black backdrop to continue playing with light painting.  The model to create the outline of a person was my husband, Dan.  In the end, I chose (submitted) an image in spite of light pollution.  It was my favorite; but, due to the fact I don’t quite get abstract art, I polled my mini-group and they overwhelmingly chose the image I ended up submitting.

Christmas is coming. I have less than 19 days to get ready to travel to stay with family for a week or so.  I will be busy and unfocused. So, I believe my writing will be more chaotic than usual.  I think the word prompt, “full”, was chosen due to Thanksgiving week here in the states.  In typical fashion, my thoughts went in a different direction.

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I have a few things I am passionate about; but, due to life, sickness, depression and more, they are not often pursued.  I can be burning with ideas but, at the same time, feel a deep emptiness inside.  In other words, I often feel my life is meaningless.

Picking up the camera and pen using weekly themes/prompts gave me a purpose.  A side benefit was a path towards healing.  I was able to push beyond my fears to share both my images and thoughts.  It was the toughest thing to do in the beginning; but, with time, it became easier.

There are days where I am feeling down and out and worthless; but, I’d like to think that meaningless feeling is lessening over time.

I am beginning to accept myself with all my quirks. With acceptance, comes progress rather than perfection, which is another flaw of mine.  I am now able to enjoy what I do instead of worrying about things coming out less than perfect.

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Pets · Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Blessing


Blessing in Disguise

Here is what I wrote:

This cat of mine, Abby Gail, is a blessing to me. She came into my life as a 4 week old kitten exactly during a time I needed a big distraction. She kept me going when I wanted to give up.

My brand new temporary hard drive which contained this past week’s pictures crashed. So, I took spur-of-the-moment pictures this morning (Sunday). I ended up with four that I liked and am submitting this one because it expresses exactly how I feel at this moment. I am considering this to be a consistency shot.

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