Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light
Snapped on 7.09.2018 during Golden Hour
(for a 52Frames Challenge and is a distant runner-up picture)
As I write at this moment, so many thoughts cross my mind.
I thought about a man who is dying from cancer. He is clinging to life with every ounce of his being. In spite of excruciating pain, in spite of physical torment, he keeps on writing out his thoughts. He is not done with this life. He refuses to give into death in spite of dying twice (that I know of). He recently wrote that he’s finished with fearing death and not achieving his hopes and dreams. But, he’s not done with living yet. He’s beginning to accept his life and circumstances. He often makes me cry. I’m learning acceptance. Death is but a part of life. It’s an unknown that is scary for many. We all have to experience it at one point.
I thought about Jesus on the cross. He declared “It is Finished” before giving up his life on earth. It is done. It’s final. There’s nothing more to be done. His mission is complete and boy howdy was it a mission.
I thought about how I would often start talking to God while trying to complete this or that task – just telling Him what’s on my mind and heart. It would suddenly occur to me I am praying for the desires of my heart. I’m often stopped in my tracks. What if my desires do not line up with His? What if I never see them (my desires) come to pass? I have regrets for not fighting harder in this life. And, I grieve for certain people gone before me.
So, I will consciously quiet my soul and deliberately utter “Thy will be done”. Thy will be done is another very powerful phrase. Sometimes it hurts to say those four words. Not my will, but Thy will. I accept that I may never know or see the answer(s) until I’ve gone over to the other side. I accept what is what it is which is never easy for me.
I thought about the times I would lay in bed in pain that seems neverending (happened last night). I would often reach a point where I wish and pray for my life to be done. Never mind all my hopes and desires, Take me home Lord! I cannot deal with this kind of pain. It is during these times of life, I welcome death. But, eventually the pain would ease and I fall into an uneasy sleep. I’d wake up exhausted but in a much better frame of mind. And, I thank Him for life and for another day in this beautiful world.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
~ Robert Frost ~