Confucius Wishing Lanterns on the Water, San Antonio, Texas
I’m a little later than usual in writing as I was outside taking pictures this morning getting soaked just from the humidity and dew. I wanted to take some pictures before the heavy dew disappeared.
I am learning so much these days that I often feel overwhelmed. Snapping a few pictures, especially macros, can be very relaxing for me. It can make me forget everything except what I’m focusing on — be it a flower or an insect. While I was out there, I suddenly realized that I know so much more than I did before I joined 52Frames. I had snapped a few pictures and then adjusted the aperture with barely a thought. My camera is more than just a tool for me now.
I’m also teaching myself, via a book, Photoshop Elements. I am determined to learn as much as I can instead of just getting by. There is so much I’d like to do; but, with my lack of knowledge, I am unable to execute them. I am hoping to learn what I want to learn and so much more before the end of 2018.
I am also going to return to sewing soon. Possibly today. Or maybe not, since it’s getting late. Ha! I am thinking about doing 20 minutes a day where I focus on each project whether it be laundry, sewing, photography, etc., and etc. I have a list of 20-minutes possibilities. I think I will choose three each day and see how it goes. This concept may utterly flop. But, I will eventually find something that works for me.
Well, enough babbling. Here goes my fifteen-minute effort.
I am not a huge fan of crowds, especially at closed events. I can get extremely annoyed with people that stand in an aisle or in front of merchandise visiting, creating bottlenecks or long lines due to their refusal to acknowledge people around them.
There is also an innate fear of being hurt physically by some impatient people who may not realize I am deaf. I have been pushed hard by people who get frustrated simply because I did not hear them from behind or beside me. It can be downright scary for me whenever this happens.
The older I got, the more fearful I became and the more reluctant I was to attend events. Photography is helping me overcome some of the anxiety. The desire to shoot overrides my fears some of the time. Photography gives me the push to go to such an event that interests me (e.g. VW car or Quilt show). Two passions combined in one. I am finding the more I get out, the easier it becomes. However, I still am hesitant to go alone and often drag my sometimes reluctant husband along for the ride.
With all this said, I still do not desire to attend social events as it creates an anxiety inside me so great I will get sick. I once threw up from all the stress and expectations of me to participate in board games among strangers. At the time, the person I was with didn’t understand (or believe) I am truly deaf.
Family events and parties are a different matter especially among those who understand my deafness. The family is important to even though much has changed since my Dad passed away. I would do almost anything for each and every one of them.
Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing.
~ Irina Shayk ~