Uncategorized · Writing

Well {Five Minute Friday}


This is the quilt label on the backing of the first quilt I’ve made.

I was trying to come up with a unique signature.  It’s my initials with a backward L.  It didn’t quite come out like I planned; but, I used it anyway.

Note: I didn’t feel like finding my first quilt and taking new pictures.  So, I dug up this picture (and the one below) from my archives after writing today’s post.  Both were shot in June 2011. I photoshopped both today for this post. (Cropped and adjusted the white balance since they were shot indoors).

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I made a small quilt using a kit not long after I first got married.   I didn’t quite understand the instructions.  Instead of a single strand of yarn, I used two strands to tie the quilt.  When I realized my mistake, I decided to buy more yarn. I matched the color as best as I could. I didn’t want to undo all my hard work.  After all, it was just a practice quilt to see if I could make one.

In spite of the mistake, I liked the look of the quilt.  I was quite thrilled with my completed project.  I took the little quilt home to show it off to my mother.  As usual, she wasn’t all that expressive.   I truly did not know what she thought of it.  I felt a little deflated.

My sister-in-law came over later to visit.  I was working in another room when my sister-in-law rushed into the room and asked me to show her what I made.  I asked her how she knew as I hadn’t planned on telling her about the quilt or showing it off to her.  My mother had told her.  She practically begged to see the quilt I made. So, I reluctantly showed her.

She was expressive and enthusiastic while she examined the small quilt.  She bolstered my confidence.  My mother then comes along indicated that she couldn’t believe I made the little quilt.  I felt deeply hurt by her words.

I remember my sister-in-law looking at me with disbelief. She then asked my mother to expound on what she said.  Mother basically said she didn’t believe I had the capability or skills to complete a project like my little quilt.    My sister-in-law looked me directly in the eye and said “don’t you listen to her.  It’s made well.”

Fortunately, the desire to make a quilt for the bedroom kept me going in spite of my mother’s disbelief and doubts.  I’ve since made a few quilts, including one for my dad and another for my mother, and not a single one of them was for our bed.

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I am not sure where I was going with today’s writing except a mother’s words, actions and attitude can weigh heavily upon a daughter in spite of what other people may say.   I struggle with a lack of confidence and self-esteem because of her.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother very much.  She showed all of us kids her love as best as she could. She sacrificed her time and so much more for me in my early years in order for me to learn how to speak and lip-read.  But still,… the feeling that I’m dumb, incapable, etc., and etc. lingers and it beats me down while I’m attempting to do this or that…

My sister-in-law’s visit was providential that day.  Because of her and her words of encouragement, I defied my mother’s predictions.  I know I can complete and do projects well even if it may take me forever to finish them due to the constant struggle against both the negativity of my mother in my mind and the perfectionistic streak within me.


My first quilt

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Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Black & White

Argiope aurantia

Here is what I wrote:

Also known as the Garden Spider or Writing Spider. 

It started to gently rain one morning when it dawned on me that the garden spider who set up her home up high on the eaves of the house and porch would make a nice B&W picture. I grabbed my tripod, camera, and macro lens and went outdoors. I realized my tripod would not go high enough for me to get a decent shot of the spider. I grabbed three 5-gallon buckets, turned them upside-down and placed my tripod on top of them. I used a stepstool to look at the viewfinder to carefully aim at the tiny spider. This was a dangerous endeavor considering I was partially on uneven ground. I would not recommend this unless you’re determined to get that nice shot. Tag me if you want to see the picture I took of the setup.

I do want to add the following:

Do not do as I do.  It was extremely dangerous not only for myself but also for the camera. Nothing was very stable. And, it was still gently raining when I did this.  (I used a lens hood to protect the glass from the rain). One little mistake would have been costly either to the camera or myself.  With that said, all ended well.

Would I do this again? Probably not. It was a lot of work getting it all set up just right not to mention my nerves were shot after all was said and done.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Name {Five Minute Friday}

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

~ Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II ~

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Before any of my siblings were born, a girl was to be named Stephanie. My folks had three sons and my folks expected me to be another boy.  My mother gave my dad naming rights to me because I was the last.  Dad named me Lee Ann after Lee Ann Meriwether.

Humans have been giving names to animals, other humans, and objects since the beginning of time.  It doesn’t matter what the names are, their nature will always be what it is as long as circumstances do not change.

I will be who I am no matter what my name is since all other things remained static. My folks are who they are. They raised us to the best of their abilities. I’m the youngest of three and the only girl.  Etc., and etc.

With that said, I do wonder who I would have been if my mother hadn’t contracted Rubella while pregnant with me which caused my deafness.  Would I have been a different person if I had my hearing?

Would I have been more outgoing and outspoken?
Would I have had been a part of a group/friends growing up?
Would I have been bullied?
Would my goals, dreams, and aspirations have been different?
Would…

Who knows? My life, circumstances, etc., and etc. is what it is.  It all comes down to life’s situations.

The point is, whether my name is Stephanie or Lee Ann, I am who I am today because all other events remain static.  The name does not matter.

With that said, I am glad my name is Lee Ann instead of Stephanie.
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Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Favorite Song Lyric


Hold On

Here is what I wrote:

“But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains.”

Song: Hold On by Wilson Phillips

Back in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I watched VH1 and MTV when they played mostly music videos and many of them were closed captioned. The words resonated within me back then and it still does with me today especially if I’m going through a tough time.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Culture {Five Minute Friday}


Please remember that 1) this is a rapid form of a writing exercise and 2) this is my little corner of freedom to express myself and write.  I mean no harm or hurt to others.
divider-clipart-divider_line_medI used to live in an isolated bubble until computers and more importantly, the internet, came along.  I remember when I discovered mIRC was in existence and my world opened up.  I found a group of quilters to connect and chat with.  It was loads of fun.

I’ve since moved on and became involved with a forum based site and then, much later, upon receiving an invite from a family member, facebook.  But, I will never forget the nice ladies from those mIRC days who accepted and taught this naive and deaf girl.

There is a culture when it comes to chatting, the forums and the internet.  I learned the unspoken rules and protocols from those ladies.  With that said, it was shocking to discover that some folks threw it all out of the window.

There was a situation that occurred with a woman who had MS over 20 years ago. This all went down in a Christian chat forum.  There were wolves in sheep’s clothing and their true nature did not shine until this incident with her occurred.  Some of them actually encouraged her to kill herself when she threatened to do so.  She must have hit the end of her rope because she committed suicide that night.

If I’m not mistaken, it was a close friend of hers that informed the group the next morning.  And, her husband, who was not involved in social media, came on a few days later seeking answers.

Social media is an excuse to let out the worst behaviors of mankind.  It allows them to hide behind the computer screen. I’m no longer the naive lady with hopes of connecting with others.

However, there are positive sides to the platform.  I don’t think I would have met a few new friends through facebook including a high school classmate reaching out to me. I’m ever so thankful she did.  We are still in touch even though she is no longer part of facebook.

52Frames is another positive aspect of facebook.  The few precious friends I keep in touch with is another.  I’ve also become involved with a group or two that is very respectful of others who are behind the computer screen.

divider-clipart-divider_line_medI’ve long believed words, including written, have power and we must be careful (thoughtful) with our words.  It makes me sad to see some not taking the time (to write) causing disagreements, anger, hurt and divisiveness among others.
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