Five Minute Friday is taking time off for the holidays. As for myself, I do not really wish to take a break from writing. Consistency, at this time, is very important to me. So, I am in search of a word (or question) prompt for both December 28th and January 4th. If any of you have a word (or a question) you wish me to write on, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I’m not making any promises; but, I will do my best to respond to a couple of requests.
All quotes, parenthesis, etc., and etc. below were inserted after writing. Enjoy.
I tend to write down quotes which make me think or tug at my heartstrings (or are deep). I ran across words the other day which made me think. Of course, I had to write them down in my quote book.
“If intentionality means acting according to your beliefs, then the opposite would be operating on autopilot. In other words, do you know why you’re doing what you’re doing?”
Why am I doing what I’m doing? The immediate answer was “survival”. I began bullet journalling as a means of accomplishing the very basics in life. The daily logs would help me keep on track and the journal method would keep me sane.
It was a struggle in the beginning because I was extremely depressed at the time. I hadn’t done any list tracking or journalling for a long time. So, things such the daily log were done on auto-pilot for a while. I still am depressed; but, I am not as bad off as I was from the start. I am slowly getting out of the pit I was in.
Once I reach a point of stability, I sought a means of forcing myself to “get out”. I’ve long enjoyed both writing and photography. So, I decided to do something with both. I joined groups at the beginning of this year in order to hold myself accountable to my resolutions.
So, what would my answer be to the above question now? Why am I doing what I’m doing? What is my intentionality (if any) behind it all?
I would not only say “survival” but I would also say “seeking a way to gain meaning to my life and work”.I am being intentional in getting out via writing and photography. I’ve also been wanting to improve my skills in photography. Last week’s 52Frames challenge (“roll of 24”) brought me down to an extreme low.
What in the world am I doing? Why am I even still trying? The weekly challenge only proved to me that I have no skills, still do not have enough understanding of how everything works, etc, and etc. It was the worst week ever.
I have dreams and I’m nowhere near close to being able to achieve them. So, I despaired. What do I do now? I don’t know what to do and if I did, I wouldn’t know how to go about doing them.
I remembered other photographers in the group saying it took them seven or 10 years to get where they are now. I’ve only been actively pursuing this less than a year. I regained a little hope. I’m dusting myself off and getting back on track. To get where I want to be, it’s going to take persistence and hard work. I can’t quit now.
And Dan, sweet Dan, gave me a “job” yesterday of taking a picture. I will be “processing” the pictures I took later today after I get the usual daily tasks completed.
- The Bullet Journal Method: Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future by Ryder Carroll