Uncategorized · Writing

Confident {Five Minute Friday}

One of my favorite shots from last year (2018)
Included this picture “just because”

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There is a photo walk that is coming up this Friday in a nearby city.   I really would love to join; but, the anxiety at the thought of joining a small group of people is extreme within me.  I do not have confidence in my skills as a “photographer”.   Who am I kidding?  I feel like a pretender among professionals.

I also get anxious about the thought of taking pictures with others.   I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I don’t know if I will be able to function (think) and take decent pictures.  Due to this fact, I really don’t want to share my pictures with the group.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve grown by leaps and bounds; but, to me, it’s not enough.  It’s that perfectionist within me working against me.  I also worry about what others may think of me.  Crazy, huh?

I confess that week after week of submitting a picture undermines me.  The last challenge (“your desk”) did a number upon me.   There are so many amateurs among the quite a few professionals.   If only they didn’t have a 52 committee picks which a group of people picks 52 pictures out of all the submissions (currently over 1100), then it wouldn’t feel like a competition.

Week after week, I question why I am even pursuing this endeavor.  I have to remind myself why I started in the first place. The primary goal was to get me out and about while doing something I enjoy.  I’ve started feeling more comfortable getting out and about and I need to continue this effort.

Due to my social anxiety, deafness, and lack of confidence, I don’t know if I’ll even have a tiny amount of courage to join the small group of people on the photo walk.  I think I may be a true loner.  In other words, I would rather be by myself than with others.   After all, I don’t stress when I’m alone (or with my husband).

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In spite of the lack of true constructive criticism from 52Frames, I’m still learning.  As long as I enjoy the process of shooting pictures and continue learning from my endeavors, I refuse to quit.

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Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Your Desk


Lap Desk

I will often have breakfast at the same time I check my emails and messages in the mornings before the sun rises. The cat often joins me while I’m trying to work on the laptop.

By the way, Abby Gail (the cat) was mesmerized by the flashing light of the timer on the camera. (I used a remote trigger in combination with the timer).

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Photography · Uncategorized

Ceraunus Blue


I believe this is a Ceraunus Blue, Hemiargus ceraunus

Taken during the week of 52Frames’ Macro challenge (2018).

I am thrilled with this shot even though it’s a reject.  I’ve been trying to capture a decent picture of this tiny beautiful butterfly for a very long time.  You have to be extremely slow approaching butterflies.  I think of it as stalking to shoot (with a camera).  This particular species is especially skittish. I was with this little one for a good fifteen minutes and discovered it will open its wings when the sun comes out from behind the clouds. Patience will always win.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Build {Five Minute Friday}


{A selfie shot this morning with my Android phone}

I am not in the right frame of mind to be doing this weekly writing challenge. I started and destroyed what I’ve written several times this morning.  It doesn’t help that I have a “kneady” cat distracting me. I am posting this for continuity and consistency.

divider-clipart-divider_line_medI am standing on a tiny little ledge with nothing stable around me.  I’m battling multiple things at once. The world is going mad.  Or, am I the one going crazy?

Anyone who knows me knows I can be mental.  I am extremely passionate and sensitive which can be my downfall.

Everything…
is…
crap.

The only thing keeping me here is my faith.

I should start from ground zero and ignore all else in the world.   However, This would be akin to burying my head in the sand keeping me intentionally blind and deaf.

I do not desire to return to my pre-internet and -closed captioning days.  In those days. I was intentionally and unintentionally left in the dark by those around me.

At the same time, I need to be able to protect myself.  I need to draw a line in the sand.  I need to do something.  I just don’t know how.divider-clipart-divider_line_med

♪♫ On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand ♫♪

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Gardening · Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Dirty

I apologize for two posts in one day.  I am all caught up now.  Hopefully, this will not happen again. Enjoy!


Black Gold

I was pulling up wild sunflowers running amok earlier this week when I realized I needed to empty out the left side of my ComposT-Twin due to the right side being full and needing to turn into “black gold”. Since I was messing around with compost, I decided to play with compost for this week’s theme. I staged our current kitchen scraps, some of the “black gold” that came straight out of the compost tumbler, and the kitchen pail (with a vegetable baggie).

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Photography · Uncategorized

Framers Friday: Macro + Focus Stacking

This post is one week late as I never got around to doing week 4.  Ugh!  This week will be coming up shortly. Enjoy.

Hairy Texas Bluebonnet plant — Lupinus texensis (Fabaceae)

I struggled mightily with this challenge. I was going outside my comfort zone using items I rarely shoot. I was not happy with any of the pictures I obtained. FYI: I’m happiest shooting macro in nature. Texas in the wintertime can be boring brown.

I was thrilled to see dew on the ground Saturday morning while the sun was rising. I immediately gathered up my camera, tripod, went outdoors, and lost track of time. I challenged myself and shot something with depth to it (as opposed to being mostly flat). This is the result.

I am in love with the result of focus stacking; but, I’m not in love with the amount of work involved. It doesn’t help that I don’t know (or lack confidence in) what I’m doing.

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Photography · Uncategorized

Fire and Ice (Staged)

Shot during the 52Frames, Opposite Attracts, challenge week (2018)

I came up with this staged picture when my first consistency shot didn’t quite fill what I needed or wanted for the challenge.  I piled blue tinted and clear glass of varying sizes around some candles on a pie plate.  I was shooting for the illusion of looking across a lake that was lit afire.  The edges of the pie plate was a plus — looks like white mountains.  This was going to be my submission if I could not get the self-portrait I wanted with my husband.

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