Uncategorized · Writing

Nourish {Five Minute Friday}

Note: as always, for Five Minute Fridays, this is free writing and adding superscripts afterward for clarification.

Shot July 2019

Just write.

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The word nourish is a difficult prompt. I had trouble centering my mind upon this topic. I’m also having difficulties with this week’s 52Frames theme, Common Object. What should I write? What should my Common Object be? I’m feeling a tad unenthused about both challenges.

The last three weeks have been lovely for me regarding photography. For all three weeks, I did macro and nature. These are my favorite things to do and shoot. I’m seeking to improve my images somehow through lighting or lenses (or both).

There’s something about pursuing the best macro shot of insects while leaving them alone that nourishes me. I can spend 15, 30, or even 45 minutes stalking a butterfly forgetting the world1 that troubles me.

I discovered through an investigation of last week’s theme2 that I’m an ethical photographer. I do not capture bugs or mess with them3 to get the optimal shot. I have a severe dislike for the idea of causing harm to any living creature. After all, quite a few are struggling to survive in this current world.4

After three weeks of pursuing nature shots, I’m finding myself reluctant to return to the ordinary world of photography challenges. But, I have another genre5 I’m interested in doing. I must obtain knowledge of other photography mediums to gain the necessary skills to pursue this particular style.

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Intentionally did not keep track of time.

  1. This includes illness(es): chronic and otherwise.
  2. Last week’s theme: Inspired by a Photographer
  3. This includes cooling them down or freezing them in order to stage/pose the insect
  4. Going excinct. Monarchs and bees are a couple among many.
  5. Surrealism

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Uncategorized · Writing

Stamps (#writephoto)

I have been missing this fun challenge; so, I went looking for a similar one and discovered someone else is hosting this with the blessing of the first host. I’m both sad and glad. I’m sad because Sue Vincent is no longer with us but happy this goes on in her memory.

Here is my “first” entry with this blog.  I will not be a regular with this endeavor as I do this exercise when I’m inspired or have free time. Free time I had on hand for this entry. I did this free writing style for five minutes adding links or subscripts afterward to provide more details. So, this is a result, a portion of my history. 

I am hoping in the future to play with words to create poetry or short stories. This is what I love to do and originally used these prompts for.

Stamps – Image by KL Caley
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I’m different from my father and two younger brothers who collected coins. I became bored with the same old faces and didn’t have an interest in the value of money.1

But then I discovered stamps.

Every single design had a reason for being created. There is a history behind each one. The stamps still attached to an envelope with the cancellation tell a part of their travels. I’d bring them out from time to time and gaze upon them. The variety of colors, designs, and history caused me to wonder about their stories.

Even though Dad didn’t see the value in collecting them, he encouraged me. He gave me a USA stamp album. However, I ended up with scores of international ones. 2

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  1. Many vintage and antique coins have a greater value than the actual mint and often increase as the years go by. 
  2. I no longer collect stamps. I never gained an interest in collecting things just for the sake of their value (and the increasing thereof throughout the years). It did not help that at heart I’m thrifty and a cheapskate. It was difficult to give them up; but, I couldn’t see a good reason to continue collecting stamps.

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    #WritePhoto – Stamps

Writing

Hide {Five Minute Friday}

This little guy (Wilson’s Snipe) was barely discernable in the distance.  First time I saw one of these on our land (January 1, 2021). He blended in so well that if I wasn’t observant, I’d miss him.

I almost forgot to do this exercise! We are redoing Dan’s office this week. So, a distraction. Thankfully, I looked in my BuJo and it reminded me that I needed to do this and the weekly bills.

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. No religion has ever been greater than its idea of God. The most determining fact about any man is not what he at any given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart can see God to be like.
~A.W. Toze

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We were asked to close our eyes and then to focus on the first thing that comes to our minds upon hearing a word. Of course, I could not close my eyes as I rely on lip-reading. It’s always been this way during prayers and the like. I’ve never felt comfortable keeping my eyes open during these times.  But, in order to understand, I must.

 Anyway, “God” was the word. At first, there was nothingness. But then, that’s how I am. I can never think of a single thing on the spot. This is why I’m not a good conversationist. Folks don’t have the patience to give me time to gather my thoughts.1

This made me think that no one can envision God. He is greater than the Universe. We can name Him but we cannot truly define Him. Since he’s so vast, we can hide in Him.2 He keeps us safe from ourselves, from others, from danger. 3

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  1. Another reason why I don’t make a great conversationalist. He was looking for attributes. 
  2.  Psalms 143:9
  3. We need to remember He’s holy.

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Writing

Wander {Five Minute Friday}

 
A View off Old Baldy
Garner State Park, Concan, Texas

This is going to be short and sweet. I’m not worried about much of anything including grammar. Thanksgiving (in the states) is approaching and that’s my excuse. We’re not doing much in the way of celebrating except having a better than usual dinner. But, we do have plans to redo Dan’s office as he has the week off. We’re already making preparations. Hopefully, we can get the major stuff done in one week.

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I’m grateful for the ability to wander seemingly without a goal or purpose. I do have personal goals such as learning as much as I can about photography and photoshop. But, I can take my time. In other words, I have no fixed deadlines. And, this is not for my future (financial or otherwise). For this, I am thankful.

The flip side is not knowing what I’d do should the situation arise if I/we need a side hustle. Playing games for mere pennies isn’t going to cut it.1 Whenever I begin to worry about the future, I take a deep breath, give it all over to God, and continue to do the best I can to secure it.2

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  1. $80 since the beginning of August.
  2. our financial future

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Uncategorized · Writing

Prayer {Five Minute Friday}

Foreword: my writing went deeper than I intended.  It’s not my intention to offend folks; but, this is free writing. This is me: my writing, my thoughts, my journal. divider-clipart-divider_line_med

For the longest time, I had the mindset that God couldn’t use failure like me. Slowly but surely, through devotionals and bible study, I realized the falsehood of that particular mindset. God does indeed use folks: those who failed (made mistakes), those with depression, etc.1 The truth of this has set me free.

I know I can go directly to the throne of grace in confidence with Jesus as my high priest, intercessor, and mediator as long as my heart is right with God.2 I can pray anytime and anyplace. He knows me.

I am constantly catching myself and going directly to God to help me overcome the negative things and thoughts. It isn’t easy; but, it’s becoming easier knowing He is with me. He still uses folks like me.

My life has purpose. What? I have no clue; but, I am content to wait upon God as He holds the future.

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  1. Some examples: Elijah (didn’t want to live anymore), King David (a murderer), Jonah (fled God), Peter (who denied Christ 3 times), , Job (depression), Jeremiah (wrote Lamentations), and many more.
  2. Hebrews 4:14 – 5:3

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Writing

Morning {Five Minute Friday}

Just a reminder: What’s between the lines is free writing. I usually go back and add footnotes to further explain, expound, etc. upon what I’ve written. I felt the need for this reminder because my own husband forgot this tidbit.

divider-clipart-divider_line_medWhile growing up, I would drag my feet getting up in the mornings. Mother was my alarm clock.1 She’d turn on the light and throw off the covers. On the days I didn’t get up, she’d come back, pull me out of bed, and walk me to the kitchen table. It became a game I think we both enjoyed.

The best memory I have is Dad coming out before shaving to harass me with his stubble on his face while I was sitting at the kitchen table on the ridiculous stepstool seat mother doubled as a “high chair.” This often would snap me out of my grumpiness even when I wanted to remain grumpy.

In looking back, I think I was always a morning person since I had no difficulty rising with the sun during the school and summer breaks. I just dreaded going to school. The everyday routines are what kept me sane.  

Today, I often get up while it’s still dark. I enjoy eating breakfast while watching the land brighten as the sun rises. I enjoy the peace of no expectations to be civilized.2 I enjoy the morning routines I’ve established which include updating my BuJo3.

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  1. I didn’t get a specialized alarm clock for the deaf until I went off to college. It during my senior high school that the world shocked me. This was the first time I got angry at my parents. There were so many things that could have made my life easier growing up.  Instead, I was kept in a bubble of the hearing world.
  2. When I am with people, there’s always the pressure or expectation to “hear” others. The last major misunderstanding occurred with a beloved Uncle of mine years ago when my mother was in the nursing home. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I didn’t get over it for months. It’s due to this incident that I don’t bother trying or pretending anymore. It is what it is. I’m deaf. I do get anxious and my mind goes a mile a minute wondering what they think of me; but, it’s not my problem anymore. At least, I keep telling myself this.
  3. Bullet Journal. I write down my tasks for the day as well as thoughts, health, etc.  I think this is called Rapid Logging in the bullet journal world except I only do tasks (bullets) and short sentences portion.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Still {Five Minute Friday}

Foreword: Social media has become so much more than what I’ve touched upon below. Due to the gradual internal changes within facebook and now Instagram, It’s no longer a way for me to make connections. Maybe I’ve given too much expectations of the platforms. But, I find social media is too much work for me these days.

divider-clipart-divider_line_medSocial media do not give me the clues I need to gauge truth or lies. Behind the words, are there smiles in the eyes? Is there a storm brewing inside? I speak from history observing, questioning, and wanting to be of service. Words lack these very things I need to gauge truth or lies. People create facades to hide behind. Constant positivity causes me to question perspectives. Where is the truth?

After all, life is not all roses without thorns.

Folks on social media do not behave like they do in real life. Taking the time to write out your thoughts with others in mind is extremely important. War of words breaks out, and friendships are no more.1

I’ve begun to realize that reality is often a facade too. Social cues and clues may be lies. As a result, I do not know what’s truth. Whereas I once thought I knew someone, I feel as if I gained insight through words into how they truly feel towards another.

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Social Media (for me) is too quiet and scary at this moment. It reminds me of a cat calmly patiently waiting to pounce. It’s too still.
I am sensing a disturbance in the force.
Ha!

  1. I’m often not a participant in verbal discussions due to deafness. These are my thoughts based upon observation.  When folks have conversations and discussions, they may get loud due to not feeling heard; but, they seem to be more thoughtful and/or respectful.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Treasure {Five Minute Friday}

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I’m at heart a collector. I used to collect postal stamps in my youth. Unlike coins, which my father and brothers collected, postal stamps told stories. As I got older, my thrifty nature conflicted with the desire to collect stamps. They also took up space and collected dust. So, as hard as it was for me, I stop collecting them.

The only thing I collect or hoard these days, besides books, is mini Lang boxes. For some unknown reason, the Fingers store sent me two invites to get one free the year I graduated from high school. So, I ended up with two of them. I loved those things. One of them became a small personal memento holder.

Throughout the years, whenever I spy one at an antique store, a flea market, or yard/garage sales, I’d immediately check it over for the condition and price. If the condition is good and the price is right, I’d purchase it.  The last one was purchased a couple months ago from an antique store in Huntsville, Texas.

The boxes are currently holders and containers in addition to being used to display items. I’ve lost count of how many I have. The last count was twenty-two. I do believe it’s now twenty-four or twenty-five. And not all of them are the same. I have what I call Tall Boys. They are rarer, taller, and older than the ones I received when I graduated.

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My mindset has changed throughout the years. I no longer collect dust makers. In fact, I’ve gotten rid of many with the exception of books I plan to read. The Lang boxes are a different story. They also have a purpose (function).

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

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Uncategorized · Writing

Complete {Five Minute Friday}

What I originally free wrote this morning had nothing to do with the word prompt. I had great difficulty coming up with something just for this prompt.  So, I just started by writing what the word means (to me).divider-clipart-divider_line_medComplete can mean entirety. Such as from the beginning to the end, The Alpha and the Omega, etc. Complete also has the meaning of it’s finished, done, or thorough. A project accomplished, An assignment done, etc.

I have a few UFOs (UnFinished Objects). I don’t feel inclined to begin work on them again soon. There’s the Gypsy wife quilt with blocks and strips still hanging on the design wall. And, my birthday table runner is still a work in progress. I haven’t picked up sewing in a very long time.

I just haven’t felt like doing much until recently.

Photography is saving my mind and life1 . It’s forcing me to get up, be creative, get active, etc. I don’t think Dan understands how much I need this activity despite the confusing “negative” criticism I may receive that makes me feel like a failure. (eg. “I don’t understand the photo… I’m confused” w/o an accompanying explanation as to why.) He doesn’t like it when I get upset and feeling like crap because of one person’s viewpoint.2

I have digressed. I do have plans to get back into the sewing room. I was in the process of redesigning/reconfiguring the space when the effort got derailed with painting and applying polyurethane on shelves.3

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  1. Photography is more for my mental and physical health along with my creative bent. (I’ve always been into and interesting in photography. So, it’s something I’m passionate about.)
  2. It’s difficult to explain. He tells me it’s just one person (comment) of many and I shouldn’t take it personally.  But, I feel if one person is confused, then I failed. period. How many others out there were confused by my image and just didn’t say so? I feel as if all the positive comments I get are a farce half the time anyway.  I rather get positive constructive criticism (eg. the horizon is tilted) than just pure positive comments that doesn’t help me improve (e.g. this is a cool picture of —-).
  3. As soon as the work on the shelves for the guest room is done, I’ll reclaim the space and begin anew.

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Uncategorized · Writing

Need {Five Minute Friday}

The below are tiny bits of jottings from yesterday. I felt the urge to write frequently. So, I did on a post-it list pad. I had many things on my mind including this word prompt. The below are all written within 30 minutes (give or take a few). I’d jot something down. Return and jot more stuff down. It just rose from within me. I felt the need to share this even though I think it’s pretty bad due to the fact in all over the place.

I added the superscripts and hyperlinks for this post.

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This is my life. I’m failing in living miserably.. I’m doing the best I can with Jesus.1 I want to live life fully.

I can’t live as long as I am with him…2, 3 But, would I still live if I wasn’t with him?4

Can He still use me? The imperfect, lacking in grace,5 girl? Who fails Him daily?

I can’t be around perfectly smiley, have all the answers, folks. “Just have faith.” “Cheer up.” Instead of listening and getting down to the bottom of life, pat toxic positivity answers are the response.

Life is… complicated.

My faith isn’t lacking. I know He can move mountains. Maybe, I don’t want to be healed.6 Maybe I don’t want to be fixed. A good listener is worthy friend.

I gave my life to Jesus.
I want to live a life for Him.
Barriers to true freedom tied me down, especially in my youth.

  • finances
  • family
  • fear, especially fear

I want to be a bridge. Not a barrier.7
I need honesty.8

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I need thee oh I need thee 
Every hour I need thee
Oh bless me now my savior 
I come to thee
~ written by Annie Hawks, hymn: I Need Thee Every Hour

  1. Walking with Him daily
  2. as in live the faith filled servant life
  3. my husband who is agnostic
  4. I had to ask myself this question. Could I life a full life without my husband? All I have is excuses and fear.
    e.g. This current pandemic has violated folks’ civil rights especially those with disabilities. I’ve been muzzled by the masks. I need someone with me out there as a interpreter. Dan willingly fills that role for me nicely. I hate this current world especially within the medical establishment. I feel as if I’ve returned to the days of my youth where all conversations concerning me fly over my head and I’m left in the dark feeling defenseless/helpless because no one would explain or tell me what’s being discussed. Fortunately, unlike my youth, Dan tries to keep me in the loop. I trust him completely. The latest doctor of mine has been kind to write down and draw diagrams on paper towel concerning my diagnosis and give them to me. This puts me at ease.
  5. This is in regards to the fact I’m not the lady society expects who walks gracefully in high heels and wears makeup beautifully. I’m a tomboy. And a klutz which is why I don’t like high heels. Poor core balance.
  6. John 9:1-12 There are folks out there who believe the reason for my deafness is either my parents or I sinned (before birth) or I am lacking in faith. In fact, my Great Aunt Francis believed and said this very thing in my youth. It shocked me. But, I trusted in God in regards to the answer to “why was I born deaf?” John 9 came to me about a year later as an answer. God can use me as I am.
  7. I don’t want to be the reason folks do not come to Christ.
  8. I desire and need to be honest, live honestly, & etc.  I also need others to be their authentic selves.

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