Uncategorized · Writing

Write 31 Days: Door (Day 11)

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
~ Milton Berle ~

You can’t knock on opportunity’s door and not be ready.
~ Bruno Mars ~

I’ve been doing a lot of pondering and thinking of late.  Sometimes, it drives me batty at how much I ruminate.  I can scare myself to death. Well, I’m kidding here because obviously, I’m still alive.  Borrowing trouble doesn’t do you any favors but being proactive may do some good.

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I stopped at a gas station one day many years ago. The man tending the cash register was a guy I knew from a Christian Student Union I frequented in my early college days.  He graduated and left a year or so before I dropped out of college back in 1987.   I was surprised to see him behind a cash register.  He tried hard to find a job in the career he wanted, gave up and ended up working at a gas station.  He worked hard and eventually became the manager of that gas station.

Life doesn’t always bring you what you sought.  A college degree doesn’t always guarantee you the job and career you want.  You can pursue something with all your might and never get to achieve the ends.  The door is closed to you.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my own life.  What would I do should there ever be the need for me to bring home the bacon.  I absolutely have no clue.

I’m pursuing the things I love doing.  I’m working hard at what I set out to do. But, could I make a career out of writing? photography?  At this moment, I’d say no.  And, my college degree may be worthless considering I haven’t kept my foot in the door of the programming world.

Some days I get to ruminating and borrowing trouble when none exists.  I get to be filled up with anxiety, worry, and concern about the future.  I have no skills to speak of and that is scary.  What will I do?  What do I want to do?  How can I get prepared in case I need to force a door open in a harsh world?

It’s not as simple as asking.  Yes, God will help and guide you; but, you can’t expect it to fall into your lap doing nothing.  You have to do the work and keep seeking for openings and knocking on all the potential doors.

Even after all that, I may have to build a door of my own.  This final scenario scares the crap out of me.  But, it is also what I think will happen most. Could I be my own boss, work hard and be successful? And, what would I be doing?

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FYI: I did return to the University 2003 part-time and graduated in 2006 with a BS degree in computer science.

Note: I desperately do not want to return to the rat race.  Society may be different now than back in the 90s.  They may be more accommodating and accepting of a person with an extreme hearing loss.   I honestly do not know.   The ADA requires employees to not discriminate against the deaf and disabled.  However, I dislike forcing a company to accommodate my needs just so that I can work.  I rather that they want me to work for them.  I sometimes secretly wish the company Dan works for had internships. His company is an awesome company to work for.  I’d most likely take a chance, and even do it for free, just to see what it’s like out there today.

Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
~Jesus Christ, Matthew 7:7~

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2 thoughts on “Write 31 Days: Door (Day 11)

  1. Thank you, again, for sharing your thoughts. I, too, worry about what I would do should I need to enter the work-force again. Working outside of the home has always been stressful for me. I remember contemplating all of the things you have mentioned here when I was facing yet another job search. I didn’t want to work in my degree-field. I had a wide variety of interests, but not strong career aspirations. I felt like I would just be reaching into a grab bag as to what kind of jobs I would apply for. I didn’t feel especially qualified for any kind of job. My jobs have been wide and varied. I tried to pursue jobs that I thought would earn decent pay, and/or be ‘respectable’ jobs…jobs I thought I might like, but most of them were not “me.”  I was trying to hard to put myself into a career or position that was stressful–like dental assisting, for instance. It was a lot more “people-interaction” than i felt comfortable with, and it drained me. It also entailed thinking quickly on your feet, and anticipating what the Dentist might need before he asked. I was a bundle of knots before I decided that wasn’t the job for me. One of my favorite jobs was a lower paying job (a clerk at a sheet music store) which used my knowledge, but allowed me lots of multi-tasking so it didn’t get boring. It was somewhat stressful, but rewarding, even though it wasn’t glamorous. I ended up quitting because of “office problems.”

    I prayed and prayed about what kind of job I might apply for after that, dreading the job hunt. I remember the relief I felt when I felt I finally got an answer–that it was ‘okay’ to stay home and be a housewife–that maybe that was what God WANTED me to concentrate on for that time in my life…and I worked to do it to the best of my ability and to improve on that.

    I still worry a lot about what I would do should Bud leave this world before me…all the same worries you have mentioned here. Every time I think about it or start worrying about it, I have to cling to the knowledge that everything is in God’s control. Everything happening NOW is preparing me for my future…even if I don’t know what that is.  I have to believe that if I am meant to have a job, it will come along at the right time and place.

    Thank you for sharing and allowing me to ‘vent’ and ‘share’ in your comments. 🙂 I have so enjoyed your thought-provoking blog posts! Please keep it up.

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